April62011

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WHAT I JUST READ: Hammer of the Gods: The Led Zepplin Saga

Stephen Davis’s Hammer of the Gods: The Led Zepplin Saga is the kind of book that if I read when I was 13 would have convinced me to take music a whole lot more seriously. Why? Because apparently all rock stars do is hang out with groupies, needlessly destroy hotel rooms and play really loud music. Oh, they also dabble in “black magick” on occasion.

I haven’t bothered to listen to Led Zepplin in years since my youth was saturated in their sound and after reading the book I’m not that compelled to put it back on. Finding out that the band was composed of a closeted weirdo who obsessed over Aleister Crowley as much as his guitar, an out and out annoying hippie, a complete stark-raven drunk maniac and another guy who was mostly never there doesn’t help matters. That doesn’t mean Hammer of the Gods isn’t a good book, it’s ghastly if considered a proper biography of the band, but rather is rock mythology at it’s best.

So the main characters naturally have to come out of this battered, beaten, strung out, riddled with STDs and dead. While Davis dishes dirt on  each member of the band the primary brunt of the muck is shoveled on the corpse of John “Bonzo” Bonham. There’s an anecdote about the man pissing himself on a plane and forcing his personal roadie to take his soiled seat. I’m sure the story would have been a little different had Bonzo not keeled over.

Most of Robert Plant’s woes are familial tragedies that never reads well in a rock and roll gossip tome. John Paul Jones spends most of the book in the same place he spent in the band: out of the limelight (On tour Jimmy Page actually had the lights turned up more on him and Plant while the rest of the band was left in the dark). Jimmy Page on the other hand is the wellspring for all of Zepplin’s satanistic rumours. The most popular story involves Page getting the band together (sans Jones) to perform a ritual for Satan to ensure the band’s success.

If there’s one person who comes off in a unique light it is Zepplin’s long time manager Peter Grant. Grant was instrumental in getting the band signed to a ludicrous contract at Atlantic Records based off a listen of the first album before it was ever released. Grant’s strong arm tactics earned Zepplin untold millions and paved the way for monumental changes in the way the music industry earned money. It’s this story that’s the truly audacious one but isn’t the focus here. If anything Davis claims that Zepplin’s last records alone that saved a flailing record industry that nearly had the bottom drop out of it in the late 70s. A bold claim but hey you know that old Hitler saying, “The bigger the lie…”

April42011

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GEEK OUT: Dragon Age 2

Dragon Age: Origins was the kind of game that utterly consumed your life and left you gibbering on to friends about the Dwarven leadership crisis in Orzammar or whether you were going to help out those Werewolves against the uppity Elves. It was a game worth being ostracized over!

Perhaps more then anything that made DA: O such a captivating game was the sense that the choices you made had an actual impact and these choices go back to what kind of character you created. The lure of the game was the ability to be one of 6 different possible characters, not counting whether you play as male or female, and each having their own back story that sets the tone for the rest of the game. Dragon Age was a game made to destroy your relationships.

Dragon Age 2 is a game made to destroy your relationship with Dragon Age: Origins.  That’s a bit extreme but it’s definitely the antithesis of it’s predecessors sprawl. There are no 6 different characters to choose, only one. There’s also just one city in the entire game, plus 3 or so dungeons that constantly repeat themselves, the same half dozen enemies over and over and the overwhelming sense that the choices you make in this game kind of don’t really matter.

Clearly the game was a victim of a rushed development cycle but in all honesty some of the choices made are inexplicably bad. For instance, SPOILERS dweeb, there’s a quest in the game where your sort of enlisted to track down a serial killer. Problem 1: Who gives a shit about a serial killer in a world of high fantasy? Sure, grit and magic go together but not in this poorly thought out quest. Eventually you find someone who is kidnapping woman in order to hide them from the killer. Sure, likely story I thought, knowing full well that the game was probably going to make me pay for this misdeed. My fee? Well, my mother was kidnapped, beheaded and placed on a madman’s Frankenstein’s monster version of his own dead lover. It was sick and damn did I feel like I fucked up big time.

So I went online and did a little snooping to see what I can do to alter this sick course of events (See DA 2 has a nasty habit of fucking up your whole family and well, that’s just not cool in a game that’s supposed to allow me a great deal of narrative control) and what do I find out? Well, it seems no matter what you do, if you believe that loon who is kidnapping women for their own safety or kill him, your Mom still gets chopped. Bullshit.

Perhaps what soured me the most was how little everything does change over that 10 year span in the city of Kirkwall. It doesn’t help that I had just wrapped playing Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood before starting DA2. In AC:B the city of Rome is bustling. There’s tons of people on-screen at once, all of them looking different, all of them doing something. There’s actual (virtual) life. Kirkwall feels dead, drab, boring and dull. Nobody walks around. The characters are as stationary as the buildings. It r ‘s unforgivable in the year 2011 to program a city as devoid as Kirkwall. That’s probably not how things would have gone down if this game was worked on a bit longer.

But that’s a hypthetical! So what did I like? The new combat system is ideal for players like me who could care less about fighting. The new weapon/armor system is retarded no matter how you cut it. Sure, it saved me, the combat wuss, plenty of headache but I also can’t stand juggling items in an inventory. Especially mostly pointless items that get sold for pointless gold anyway which should all be pointless anyway since the game supposedly has me becoming really rich.

I want to say that the characters in this game are better then in Origins but they’re not. It’s impossible to play the game without Varric and Isabella in your party, go ahead try. You’re missing out on most of the joy if you do. Everyone else is just sort of doom and gloomy. Also, for a game that spans 10 years my characters sure don’t age a whole lot, nor do they change clothes that often. That’s a bit nit-picky, sure. When Bioware’s writing is good, it’s in a league of its own, and occasionally Dragon Age 2 rises up. That alone is worth checking this game out for.

Also, special shout out to the fuckwits who made me pre-order this game in January so I can have the “Signature Edition” with special “Downloadable Content”. Turns out all you get is a store with some special items and a creepy disembodied voice and an incredibly lame extra character, Sebastian, who I never bothered to use cause he was Chantry loving puss.

Dragon Age 2 was the first game I ever immediately turned around and resold (using Amazon’s nifty used game for gift cards store) upon beating it. I could care less about future DLC. I’m done with Kirkwall and I’m done with Hawke. For now, at least until Dragon Age 3 comes out. I’m a sucker. Meanwhile, Dragon Age: Origins still sits on my shelf.

November192009

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November 19, 1969 - Pele Scores His 1000th Goal “Pele scored his 1,000th goal on a penalty kick against Vasco da Gama. Eighty thousand adoring fans in Maracana stadium cheered him wildly, even though Santos was the opposing team.”

November 19, 1969 - Pele Scores His 1000th Goal

“Pele scored his 1,000th goal on a penalty kick against Vasco da Gama. Eighty thousand adoring fans in Maracana stadium cheered him wildly, even though Santos was the opposing team.”

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November 18, 1928 - Steamboat Willie Premieres “It was the Third Mickey Mouse cartoon, behind Plane Crazy (Released six months earlier) and The Gallopin’ Gaucho (Made earlier, but released after). It was the first Disney cartoon to feature synchronized sound. Disney used Pat Powers’ Cinephone system, created by Powers using Lee De Forest’s Phonofilm system without giving De Forest any credit. Steamboat Willie premiered at New York’s 79th Street Theatre, and played ahead of the independent film Gang War. Steamboat Willie was an immediate hit while Gang War is all but forgotten today. The cartoon was written and directed by Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks. The title is a parody of the Buster Keaton film Steamboat Bill Jr. Music for Steamboat Willie was put together by Wilfred Jackson, one of Disney’s animators — not, as sometimes reported, by Carl Stalling — and comprises popular melodies including ‘Steamboat Bill’ and ‘Turkey in the Straw’.”

November 18, 1928 - Steamboat Willie Premieres

“It was the Third Mickey Mouse cartoon, behind Plane Crazy (Released six months earlier) and The Gallopin’ Gaucho (Made earlier, but released after). It was the first Disney cartoon to feature synchronized sound. Disney used Pat Powers’ Cinephone system, created by Powers using Lee De Forest’s Phonofilm system without giving De Forest any credit. Steamboat Willie premiered at New York’s 79th Street Theatre, and played ahead of the independent film Gang War. Steamboat Willie was an immediate hit while Gang War is all but forgotten today. The cartoon was written and directed by Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks. The title is a parody of the Buster Keaton film Steamboat Bill Jr. Music for Steamboat Willie was put together by Wilfred Jackson, one of Disney’s animators — not, as sometimes reported, by Carl Stalling — and comprises popular melodies including ‘Steamboat Bill’ and ‘Turkey in the Straw’.”

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November 17, 1950 - Tenzin Gyatso is Enthroned as the Dalai Llama “Tibetans traditionally believe Dalai Lamas to be the reincarnation of their predecessors, each of whom is believed to be a human emanation of the bodhisattva Avalokitesvara. A search party was sent to locate the new incarnation when the boy who was to become the 14th was about two years old. It is said that, amongst other omens, the head of the embalmed body of the thirteenth Dalai Lama, at first facing south-east, had mysteriously turned to face the northeast—indicating the direction in which his successor would be found. The Regent, Reting Rinpoche, shortly afterwards had a vision at the sacred lake of Lhamo La-tso indicating Amdo as the region to search—specifically a one-story house with distinctive guttering and tiling. After extensive searching, the Thondup house, with its features resembling those in Reting’s vision, was finally found. The little boy was presented with various relics, including toys, some of which had belonged to the 13th Dalai Lama and some of which had not. It was reported that he had correctly identified all the items owned by the previous Dalai Lama, exclaiming, ‘That’s mine! That’s mine!’”

November 17, 1950 - Tenzin Gyatso is Enthroned as the Dalai Llama

“Tibetans traditionally believe Dalai Lamas to be the reincarnation of their predecessors, each of whom is believed to be a human emanation of the bodhisattva Avalokitesvara. A search party was sent to locate the new incarnation when the boy who was to become the 14th was about two years old. It is said that, amongst other omens, the head of the embalmed body of the thirteenth Dalai Lama, at first facing south-east, had mysteriously turned to face the northeast—indicating the direction in which his successor would be found. The Regent, Reting Rinpoche, shortly afterwards had a vision at the sacred lake of Lhamo La-tso indicating Amdo as the region to search—specifically a one-story house with distinctive guttering and tiling. After extensive searching, the Thondup house, with its features resembling those in Reting’s vision, was finally found. The little boy was presented with various relics, including toys, some of which had belonged to the 13th Dalai Lama and some of which had not. It was reported that he had correctly identified all the items owned by the previous Dalai Lama, exclaiming, ‘That’s mine! That’s mine!’”

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November 16, 1938 - Dr. Albert Hofmann Synthesizes LSD “Hofmann joined the pharmaceutical-chemical department of Sandoz Laboratories (now Novartis), located in Basel as a co-worker with professor Arthur Stoll, founder and director of the pharmaceutical department. He began studying the medicinal plant squill and the fungus ergot as part of a program to purify and synthesize active constituents for use as pharmaceuticals. His main contribution was to elucidate the chemical structure of the common nucleus of Scilla glycosides (an active principal of Mediterranean Squill). While researching lysergic acid derivatives, Hofmann first synthesized LSD on November 16, 1938. The main intention of the synthesis was to obtain a respiratory and circulatory stimulant (an analeptic). It was set aside for five years, until April 16, 1943, when Hofmann decided to take another look at it. While re-synthesizing LSD, he accidentally absorbed a small quantity through his fingertipsand serendipitously discovered its powerful effects.”

November 16, 1938 - Dr. Albert Hofmann Synthesizes LSD

“Hofmann joined the pharmaceutical-chemical department of Sandoz Laboratories (now Novartis), located in Basel as a co-worker with professor Arthur Stoll, founder and director of the pharmaceutical department. He began studying the medicinal plant squill and the fungus ergot as part of a program to purify and synthesize active constituents for use as pharmaceuticals. His main contribution was to elucidate the chemical structure of the common nucleus of Scilla glycosides (an active principal of Mediterranean Squill). While researching lysergic acid derivatives, Hofmann first synthesized LSD on November 16, 1938. The main intention of the synthesis was to obtain a respiratory and circulatory stimulant (an analeptic). It was set aside for five years, until April 16, 1943, when Hofmann decided to take another look at it. While re-synthesizing LSD, he accidentally absorbed a small quantity through his fingertipsand serendipitously discovered its powerful effects.”

November152009

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November 15, 1926 - NBC Begins Broadcasting with 26 Radio Stations “RCA spent $1 million to buy WEAF and Washington sister station WCAP, shut down the latter station, and announced in late 1926 the creation of a new division known as The National Broadcasting Company. The new division was divided in ownership between RCA (fifty percent), General Electric (thirty percent), and Westinghouse (twenty percent). NBC launched officially on November 15, 1926.”

November 15, 1926 - NBC Begins Broadcasting with 26 Radio Stations

“RCA spent $1 million to buy WEAF and Washington sister station WCAP, shut down the latter station, and announced in late 1926 the creation of a new division known as The National Broadcasting Company. The new division was divided in ownership between RCA (fifty percent), General Electric (thirty percent), and Westinghouse (twenty percent). NBC launched officially on November 15, 1926.”

November142009

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November 14, 1910 - Eugene Burton Ely Performs the First Take-Off from a Ship “On November 14, 1910, Ely took off in a Curtiss pusher from a temporary platform erected over the bow of the light cruiser USS Birmingham. The aeroplane plunged downward as soon as it cleared the 83-foot platform runway; and the aircraft wheels dipped into the water before rising. Ely’s goggles were covered with spray, and the aviator promptly landed on a beach rather than circling the harbor and landing at the Norfolk Navy Yard as planned. Following this flight, Ely was made a lieutenant in the California National Guard to qualify for a $500 prize offered to the first reservist to make such a flight.”:

November 14, 1910 - Eugene Burton Ely Performs the First Take-Off from a Ship

“On November 14, 1910, Ely took off in a Curtiss pusher from a temporary platform erected over the bow of the light cruiser USS Birmingham. The aeroplane plunged downward as soon as it cleared the 83-foot platform runway; and the aircraft wheels dipped into the water before rising. Ely’s goggles were covered with spray, and the aviator promptly landed on a beach rather than circling the harbor and landing at the Norfolk Navy Yard as planned. Following this flight, Ely was made a lieutenant in the California National Guard to qualify for a $500 prize offered to the first reservist to make such a flight.”:

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November 13, 1970 - Hurricane Bhola, One of the Deadliest Natural Disasters Ever, Dissipates “The cyclone intensified into a severe cyclonic storm on November 11 and began to turn towards the northeast as it approached the head of the bay. A clear eye formed in the storm, and it reached its peak later that day with sustained winds of 185 km/h (115 mph) and a central pressure of 966 hPa, equivalent to that of a Category 3 hurricane on the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale. The cyclone made landfall on the East Pakistan coastline during the evening of November 12, around the same time as the local high tide. Once over land, the system began to weaken but was still considered a cyclonic storm on November 13 when it was about 100 km (65 miles) south-southeast of Agartala. The storm then rapidly weakened into a remnant area of low pressure over southern Assam that evening. “

November 13, 1970 - Hurricane Bhola, One of the Deadliest Natural Disasters Ever, Dissipates

“The cyclone intensified into a severe cyclonic storm on November 11 and began to turn towards the northeast as it approached the head of the bay. A clear eye formed in the storm, and it reached its peak later that day with sustained winds of 185 km/h (115 mph) and a central pressure of 966 hPa, equivalent to that of a Category 3 hurricane on the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale. The cyclone made landfall on the East Pakistan coastline during the evening of November 12, around the same time as the local high tide. Once over land, the system began to weaken but was still considered a cyclonic storm on November 13 when it was about 100 km (65 miles) south-southeast of Agartala. The storm then rapidly weakened into a remnant area of low pressure over southern Assam that evening. “

November122009

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November 12, 1892 - Pudge Heffelfinger becomes the First Professional Football Player “Heffelfinger was paid $25 for his expenses and a bonus of $500 (far above and beyond even double his expenses) by the Allegheny Athletic Association to play in a game against the rival Pittsburgh Athletic Club, during which he scored the game’s only touchdown on a recovered fumble. Though the payment was not verified until the acquisition of an Allegheny Athletic Association expense ledger from the day by the Pro Football Hall of Fame, this fee has established Heffelfinger as being the first professional football player on record.”

November 12, 1892 - Pudge Heffelfinger becomes the First Professional Football Player

“Heffelfinger was paid $25 for his expenses and a bonus of $500 (far above and beyond even double his expenses) by the Allegheny Athletic Association to play in a game against the rival Pittsburgh Athletic Club, during which he scored the game’s only touchdown on a recovered fumble. Though the payment was not verified until the acquisition of an Allegheny Athletic Association expense ledger from the day by the Pro Football Hall of Fame, this fee has established Heffelfinger as being the first professional football player on record.”